Frustrations

You ever just sit and wonder to yourself why you are the way you are. Well i do that fairly often. And when I do i'm often frustrated because i am never able figure it out. I'm an introvert, very passive, have major social anxieties, and self esteem and image problems. I look back at my past and can't quite figure out why I possess those less than enviable qualities. Why am I the way I am? People often can pinpoint an event, or a situation in their lives that shaped their current personality, but I can not. Am i just not looking hard enough? Am i looking at the wrong things?
I am sitting by myself while my girl is out and am worried that she is doing something she shouldn't be, why am i doing that? I don't know, I don't even know why I am typing this..just so frustrated.