You ever just sit and wonder to yourself why you are the way you are. Well i do that fairly often. And when I do i'm often frustrated because i am never able figure it out. I'm an introvert, very passive, have major social anxieties, and self esteem and image problems. I look back at my past and can't quite figure out why I possess those less than enviable qualities. Why am I the way I am? People often can pinpoint an event, or a situation in their lives that shaped their current personality, but I can not. Am i just not looking hard enough? Am i looking at the wrong things?
I am sitting by myself while my girl is out and am worried that she is doing something she shouldn't be, why am i doing that? I don't know, I don't even know why I am typing this..just so frustrated.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
My 2nd Chance..
So here I go again..I am moving again with another young lady...The first time was about 4 years ago..I eventually married that girl and for reasons I may explain in future posts, all of which were my fault, that did not work out. I have mixed feelings, I am looking forward to a second chance with another female whom I love and feel is a good fit for me. However, I have been with her from the time I left my wife and never really gave myself a chance to be by myself. I am kind of scared, its like I don't want to make the same mistake, I do really want this to work. We were living together for a while, but this time it will be our own apartment, lots more pressure than previous spots.
This going to be so different, she is such a different person than my ex-wife. It's like moving into an apartment with her is bringing up memories of my ex-wife, like all the times we shared in our apartment, all the good and all the bad. I don't know if or how that is going to affect me or us. I hope it doesn't, but I struggle at times handling emotions of things involving my ex-wife. I need this to work, I am not the type of guy to bounce around. More importantly, I want this to work, I love my girlfriend and definitely can see myself with her, but this is the true test, my second chance..
This going to be so different, she is such a different person than my ex-wife. It's like moving into an apartment with her is bringing up memories of my ex-wife, like all the times we shared in our apartment, all the good and all the bad. I don't know if or how that is going to affect me or us. I hope it doesn't, but I struggle at times handling emotions of things involving my ex-wife. I need this to work, I am not the type of guy to bounce around. More importantly, I want this to work, I love my girlfriend and definitely can see myself with her, but this is the true test, my second chance..
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